You could say the same formy voice teacher Mrs. White. Even older folks were supportive!Meeting and getting to know Erica was super-important too. Here was arole model, a guy not unlike me who found himself playing the part ofanother man's girlfriend, then wife - who jumped in with both feet andjust went for it, all the way. Living the kind of life I could only dreamabout!Oh yeah - let's not forget four men who made a huge difference in myjourney. First and foremost, there's Mark. What can I say? He treated melike a girl right from the start, even though he knew who and what I was;and he accepted me. I still can't get over that. And he definitelyencouraged me to dress up and go all-out to look (and feel!) feminine. Itwas a bit different with Rob - well, for starters he thought I was reallya female. And he flat-out romanced me! Sure, Rob was probably after mefor sex more than anything, but it did wonders for my girlish self-esteemto be pursued by a hot guy like that!And then there was. It was not until I left home for my rumspringa that everything changed.Maybe you don't know what that is? Rumspringa is a period of time givento young people of the Amish faith to experience life outside ourreligious community; to sample the vices of the world outside, andhopefully return to the faith with a better understanding, and acceptancethat the Godly path is the right path.I really did not want to go. I would have been happy to stay. I thoughtthat the problem that I was having, whatever it was, was about me, andtherefore the answer was prayer, not a month of sin. But my older brotherand some of the other guys my age pressured me into venturing out.I never thought I was gay. I like the girls in our community, and Ienjoyed being among them. I thought those feelings were normal. I wasnot sexually attracted to them, but I thought that this was because Iprayed against temptation. I was not attracted to boys either, perhapsbecause of prayer, but more likely because then I.
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